Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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