I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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