T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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