Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Never underestimate the power of titties
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
