I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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