Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
