I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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