Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.