Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  i told him im from Canada, abortion is free

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): i told him im from Canada, abortion is free http://tfl.nu/em2l
  Replies (137) Good night (4570) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married. http://tfl.nu/sari
  Replies (27) Good night (857) Bad night (5384)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ym74
  Replies (7) Good night (7653) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4
  Replies (38) Good night (5949) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog. http://tfl.nu/53ei
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (2956)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  this is not real life

  (1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

  it never is. after midnight never counts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): this is not real life (1-267): it never is. after midnight never counts. http://tfl.nu/o5xm
  Replies (5) Good night (1984) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library. http://tfl.nu/6qen
  Replies (12) Good night (1836) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  What drink are we having for lunch?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): What drink are we having for lunch? http://tfl.nu/pv1n
  Replies (5) Good night (1212) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face http://tfl.nu/7v6p
  Replies (9) Good night (1818) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed http://tfl.nu/cmm2
  Replies (16) Good night (882) Bad night (1549)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve. (1-678): Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle http://tfl.nu/629h
  Replies (4) Good night (473) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs http://tfl.nu/r0oh
  Replies (13) Good night (2869) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam....... http://tfl.nu/1do5
  Replies (10) Good night (734) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday. http://tfl.nu/wg8e
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (313)

Randomize