its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
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We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation