Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
