Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
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My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
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Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful