He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
