I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
