My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize