He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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