I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
