I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
