I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
