She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
