I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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