To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
