We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
