i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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