he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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