3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So apparently I’m into choking now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
