PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
