the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
