i just google imaged poop.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
