I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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