and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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