i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
