I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize