apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
