I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
