She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I checked into jail on foursquare
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
