You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
