All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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