just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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