Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.