he puts the penis in happiness.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?