Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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