I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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