He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
