So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
