Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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