Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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