so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
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A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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