I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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