i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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