Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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