we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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