A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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