He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
