No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
