i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have grass duct taped all over my body
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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