i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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