They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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