She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
