i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
