In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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