i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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