And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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